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My Kids Were A Tool

We have our own personal enemy and he’s actually pretty brilliant. He knows the very thing that we want so desperately that we will hear every single word spoken to us about it. He finds our “thing” and then he starts talking. He speaks and we let his words sink in deep. For me, the words were, "you are failing as a mom and because of you, your kids will never succeed". I knew he was right. It’s what I had told myself so hearing it didn’t surprise me, it felt like confirmation.

One of the best tools the enemy used in my life was my kids. You read that right, my kids were a tool. The enemy would tell me things like:

You're bad You're fake You're no good You'll never succeed They’ll never succeed Anyone else would do a better job Everyone else is doing a better job!

Thankfully; God, the one who speaks Truth into our lives also has tools, better tools. My heart had bought into a terrible lie. I was so focused on the wrong thing that I would constantly (and desperately) grasp for quick fixes that were usually bad for my family.

I like to compare my old thoughts about my parenting with a bad diet plan. When I’ve tried different diets, I would be so focused on what I couldn't eat that it was all I could think about. I craved things that weren't good for me, didn't nourish me, wouldn't make me healthy. That's how I was parenting. I was so focused on what I knew I was doing wrong that it was all I could see. I had bought into a lie, big time.

I've had to un-learn bad eating habits and retrain my brain to enjoy healthy food. I've also had to retrain my heart to take in and nourish my soul with organic, healthy Truths. How did I do that? What was my trick? I opened my Bible. Truth is what I found in God’s word and it was this Truth that set me free. Unlike self-help books, when I opened the Bible it came to life and so did I. Just one or two words could make a difference in my wholeness; my whole attitude, my whole outlook, my whole hope. I began to see Truths about who God is, who I am and who my kids are. I learned a lot about my role as their mom. The fun part was that unlike dieting, there really was a quick fix that could be long lasting.

Maybe you’re like me and need this Truth today:

“…we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.” (1John 3:19-20)

Jesus knows the Truth about us, even when our own hearts don’t. Jesus knows the Truth about you, even when your own heart doesn’t.

I pray that this one small but powerful Truth will set you free today!


Emily is a parent of 3 grown children. Her mission is to share her experiences to help parents of teens navigate the crazy waters of being a parent of a teen.



Healthy conversations with your teen: 


Blog Goal:The Talk With Your Teen blog encourages and equips Christian parents to have consistent, open, and meaningful conversations with their teenagers about relational and sexual health.


About us: This blog is hosted by The Joshua Center from Positive Options. The Joshua Center exists to mobilize the body of Christ to embody the Gospel as we build a culture of life in West Michigan.


Parenting teens can be challenging. We offer Biblically based social and sexual health workshops that help ground teens in God's truth and authority as they navigate a hypersexual and rapidly evolving culture focused on individualism and self-gratification. Talk with your Teen articles expand and build on these trainings by encouraging and equipping Christian parents to have ongoing conversations with their teens regarding sensitive cultural issues. For more information about our workshops, for both teens and their parents, please email

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