Making Sense of God and Sex

Making Sense of God and Sex

Young people struggling with sexuality and sexual choices are not merely wrestling with behavior—they’re wrestling with identity and with what they believe about God. At the heart of many questions about sex lie deeper ones: Is God truly good? Can I trust Him? Does He really see me?

Many teens and young adults are not compromising sexually because they don’t care about God, but because the Christian conversation around sex often feels shallow, unclear, or absent altogether. In a culture where sex is a powerful idol, confusion about sex often leads to confusion about God. Teens and young adults are attempting to cope and fill gaps with pornography or the newer “BookTok” wave of spicy romance on TikTok—cheap substitutes for exploring something originally created by God as good. Both are fueling sexual desire outside of God’s design. As parents, it’s easy to sigh at how central sex and sexuality have become in our culture; yet sex is also central to God’s love story and to the identity He gives us as His image bearers.

I like to imagine the eternal dance of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—a fullness of relational love and covenant—being placed into each of us when dust became body and breath became life. From the beginning, God entrusted one man and one woman with the gift of deep, supernatural intimacy and creative possibility. God called this “very good.” He is not withholding something from us; He is inviting us into a greater “Yes.”

Our culture says sex is about how we feel, what we desire, and how often we express it. But feeding on distorted images of love trains the brain toward dissatisfaction at best and destruction at worst. God designed sex to be a covenant celebration—an expression of His faithfulness to us and His character within us—shared between two committed people.

People cannot perform in real relationships in ways that mirror unrealistic and pervasive erotic story lines found in cultural entertainment. Arousal is not a sustainable escape from our stresses or spaces where we feel trapped, tired or tapped out. The meaning and purpose of sex is not ultimately about arousal, it’s about intimacy. And intimacy is something a couple builds together, and over time- not something we test for as we date toward maturity in multiple relationships and experiences.

Help your teens and young adults pursue healthy sexual discipleship by telling God’s story well. Remind them that God is good, that He sees them, and that He is present in their wounds and stresses. If compromise has left its mark of pain and regret, reassure them that tomorrow is a new day. God’s gift of repentance and renewal is waiting for them—God can be trusted, and returning to His way will reawaken a joyful desire to wait and to want according to God’s Gospel design for love and sex.

Parents, perhaps a bold and beautiful question for the new year is this: Are we—individually and as a family seeking to honor God—choosing paths of healthy sexual discipleship? What might that look like for each of us?                                                                                                         

“This is my appeal to you,  to lead in a life worthy of the divine calling to which you have been called.”  Ephesians 4:1  

AmyJo Pleune                                                                                                                                              

Joshua House: Coaching and Discipleship