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Two Minute Discussion Starter: More Than Sex

The Two Minute Discussion Starter Videos provide a space for teens and parents to learn together and then discuss together what they learned.

In this pilot episode Mike Van Drie shows from Scripture how sex is about way more than just having sex. Sex is something so much more wonderful. Join Mike on the 3 minute journey to find out the truth about sex.


Discussion Questions:

  • What do you think is the purpose of sex?

  • What do you think is our families view of sex?

  • Do you think our deepest need is sexual or social? Why?

  • What difference does it make what your view of sex is?


Full Transcript Below:

What if there is more to sex than sex? What if sex is not the point of sex? There is a myth out there that you and I are sexual beings. While it's true that we have sexual drives, our deepest need is not sexual. At the core, you and I are relational beings. That means that you and I need relationships. You and I need to be connected. First of all, we need to be connected to God. That is our deepest need as human beings. Second of, you and I need to be connected with other people. In Genesis 2, it talks about how it's not good for man to be alone. Now, this is a point where Adam had perfect and full access to God and yet God said, "It is not good for man to be alone." You and I, we need to be connected with other people.

We see this to be true in a couple of ways. First of all, no one, not one person has died from not having sex. It maybe hard to believe as a teenager as your hormones are racing through. You're going, "I might die if I don't have sex." You will not die if you don't have sex. No one has died from not having sex. However, many people have died in solitary confinement because they need to be with other people.

Second, for thousands of years we have gathered as human beings. We have gathered together in groups even though people hurt us, or even though people can annoy us, or people can make us mad. Lastly, you and I, we will risk our wellbeing to be with others. Some people engage in risky sexual behavior to not lose the boyfriend or girlfriend so they can feel connected. People do drugs and alcohol so that they will not lose friends because of the peer pressure of that. Lastly, people stay in abusive friendships and relationships just so that they have somebody to feel close to.

One of the purposes of sex is to be connected with other people. In Genesis 2, it talks about how the two should become one flesh and this idea is the idea of being stitched together and then melding together into one powerful connection together. This connection, this deep connection is one of the reasons why sex should only be in marriage because it permanently connects you to a person. Now, this connection is to be built upon a solid foundation of a healthy relationship. If it's not, in fact it will hurt the relationship. In fact, it will keep it from growing so it needs to be on the foundation.

We can see that sex is not about sex at all. In fact, it's about connection. It's about relationship. It's about connecting a good, healthy marriage relationship and making it even better.


Mike has worked with teens and parents for 14+ years. Mike has been married to Natalie for over 10 years. They love living near downtown Holland. Mike prides himself on being left-handed and even has a left-handed clock in his office that confuses the majority of those who glance at it!

Healthy conversations with your teen: 


Blog Goal:The Talk With Your Teen blog encourages and equips Christian parents to have consistent, open, and meaningful conversations with their teenagers about relational and sexual health.


About us: This blog is hosted by The Joshua Center from Positive Options. The Joshua Center exists to mobilize the body of Christ to embody the Gospel as we build a culture of life in West Michigan.


Parenting teens can be challenging. We offer Biblically based social and sexual health workshops that help ground teens in God's truth and authority as they navigate a hypersexual and rapidly evolving culture focused on individualism and self-gratification. Talk with your Teen articles expand and build on these trainings by encouraging and equipping Christian parents to have ongoing conversations with their teens regarding sensitive cultural issues. For more information about our workshops, for both teens and their parents, please email

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