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The Monumental Myth of Being Cool (Two Minute Talk Tip)

The right jeans. The right haircut. The right shirt. The right car. The right glasses. The right phrases. The pressure for parents to be cool is extremely high.

You are told you need to be cool in order to connect with your teen. This is a LIE.

In this video, I will demolish this myth and will give you hope. I will show you the true path to having monumental impact on your teen.

Full Transcript Below

When I was in seventh grade I was not cool at all. I decided to buy some wide-leg jeans ... yes, some wide-leg jeans. How crazy was that? I tried to get the right shoes. I tried to hang out with the right people, get the right friends. Even after all of that I was still not cool. I was a poser, but worse than that I was a poser who was broke. Fast forward to now ... I'm somebody who gets to work with teens and the pressure to be cool still exists ... to have the right haircut, to have the right shoes, to have cool jeans, to say the correct, cool phrases, such as "cray-cray," which, just so you know is not cool, because I just said it.

Here's the thing. The teens I work with do not need me to be cool. They need me to show up, not to be cool. They need me to care, not to be cool. They need me to invest in them, not to be cool.

The same is true for you. Your teen does not need you to be cool. Most likely, that's good news, because my guess is you're not cool. It's a good thing that you're not cool. To me there's nothing worse than a 50-year-old guy trying to be cool. Trying to wear all the cool clothes and look like he's a cool 16-year-old.

What your teen does need is you. They need you to be you. To show up, not to be cool. To care, not to be cool. To listen, not to be cool. They need somebody who is there for them ... not somebody who is cool.

One more thing ... by not being cool and by being yourself you will actually have a greater impact on your teen then if you would try to be cool ... and you will avoid looking back on pictures of yourself 20 years from now, looking at yourself trying to be a 50-year-old hipster.

Mike has worked with teens for 13+ years. Mike has been married to Natalie for 10 years. They love living near downtown Holland. Mike prides himself on being left-handed and even has a left-handed clock in his office that confuses the majority of those who glance at it!

Healthy conversations with your teen: 


Blog Goal:The Talk With Your Teen blog encourages and equips Christian parents to have consistent, open, and meaningful conversations with their teenagers about relational and sexual health.


About us: This blog is hosted by The Joshua Center from Positive Options. The Joshua Center exists to mobilize the body of Christ to embody the Gospel as we build a culture of life in West Michigan.


Parenting teens can be challenging. We offer Biblically based social and sexual health workshops that help ground teens in God's truth and authority as they navigate a hypersexual and rapidly evolving culture focused on individualism and self-gratification. Talk with your Teen articles expand and build on these trainings by encouraging and equipping Christian parents to have ongoing conversations with their teens regarding sensitive cultural issues. For more information about our workshops, for both teens and their parents, please email

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