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That Dreaded Moment

That dreaded moment.

You may know it well.

Or you may not have experienced it yet.

What is that moment you ask?

It is the moment that your teen son or daughter asks you a question about sex and you don’t know the answer.

Even though I am not a parent I have experienced that moment. More times than I would like to admit. You see, I have as a sexual health educator and the main lesson that I teach is about puberty, anatomy and human reproduction. As much as I learn, prepare and gain experience there are those moments that teens ask me a question that I don’t know the answer to.

So, the question is, what should you do at those moments?


The first thing and I would suggest the most important thing you should do is admit that you don’t know the answer.

Trust me, it can be tempting to try to make something up that sounds right and intelligent.

It is so tempting to appear to know the answers.

Now you may be wondering why it is important to be honest and admit that you don’t know the answer. And to seem like the person with all of the answers.

The reason is twofold. First of all, the mis-information you give your teen may end up hurting them. As they say knowledge is power. Secondly, and most importantly, the truth comes out. The answer you tell your teen may satisfy their curiosity for the moment, however, at some point your teen will come across the truth. At that moment all of the trust that you have worked so hard to build will be broken. Sadly, I have seen this happen to students that I have taught. Their parents told them something that was false and you could just see in their face the broken trust.


Tell your teen that you will find out the answer and then… go research the question.

There is a lot of good information on the internet. Just a word of caution, if you find an answer I suggest that you look for another source to verify the answer.

Also, you can contact us at One of our experts would love to help you with your teen’s question and if we don’t know the answer we will be honest and tell you and then research the answer.


If you tell your teen that you are going to look up the information, then do it.

It is easy to say that you will look it up and not research it and hope that they forget that they asked the question.

In my experience, teens, rarely forget a question that they ask about sex.

If it is taking longer to find the answer than you expected, be honest and tell them.

Trust is King

Our goal here at is to equip you to be the #1 influence in your teens life, in all areas.

A main component of influence is trust.

In those dreaded moments, be honest and admit that you don’t know the answer.

Build the trust, one admission at a time.

Happy conversations.

Mike has worked with teens and parents for 13+ years. Mike has been married to Natalie for 10 years. They love living near downtown Holland. Mike prides himself on being left-handed and even has a left-handed clock in his office that confuses the majority of those who glance at it!

Healthy conversations with your teen: 


Blog Goal:The Talk With Your Teen blog encourages and equips Christian parents to have consistent, open, and meaningful conversations with their teenagers about relational and sexual health.


About us: This blog is hosted by The Joshua Center from Positive Options. The Joshua Center exists to mobilize the body of Christ to embody the Gospel as we build a culture of life in West Michigan.


Parenting teens can be challenging. We offer Biblically based social and sexual health workshops that help ground teens in God's truth and authority as they navigate a hypersexual and rapidly evolving culture focused on individualism and self-gratification. Talk with your Teen articles expand and build on these trainings by encouraging and equipping Christian parents to have ongoing conversations with their teens regarding sensitive cultural issues. For more information about our workshops, for both teens and their parents, please email

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